El síndrome del status

Los ilusos que pensábamos sobrevivir al jefe y acudir falsamente compungidos a su lecho de muerte para asegurarnos de que ni un botellín de agua mineral procedente de la fuente de la eterna juventud (y analizado como todos en los laboratorios del doctor Oliver Rodés) podría darle aliento, comprobamos horrorizados cómo la única manera de hacernos con el mecenazgo de su viuda será conseguir aún más poder qué él.

Según esta preocupante noticia, existe una relación directa entre la jerarquía laboral y la longevidad. Si la leen entera (no sean vagos, demonios), para que un japonés con una carrera y doctorado, jefe de una productora cinematográfica y ganador de un Óscar muriera, sería necesario cortarle la cabeza, arrancarle el corazón, electrocutarlo cuando le diera el vahído por las agresiones anteriores y todavía habría posibilidades de que escribiese sus memorias.

La situación social parece potenciar más la buena salud que una combinación entre la dieta del astronauta, la de la alcachofa, la de la alcachofa del astronauta y la de la madre del controlador aéreo regadas con suculentos yogures de los que favorecen el crecimiento de la flora intestinal (la única flora, todo sea dicho, que jamás ha tenido un soneto) y lametones ocasionales, dado su precio, a la caja de la jalea real.

Ahora comprendemos la insistencia de los trepas. Conocían el secreto. Los honrados currantes que cada mañana blasfemamos al oír el despertador (Casio PQ-11 made in China, con función de snooze y luz) y a los que un capricho de la genética nos ha vedado la ambición y el talento, sólo podemos esperar que la acción fortuita de la salmonelosis nos ponga de repente arriba en sustitución de toda la (intoxicada en el restaurante de abajo) cadena de mandos.

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    Oh, dios mio… segun esto a mi me toca morirme dentro de 10…9…8…7…

  4. Caracartón wrote:

    ¿Donde queda eso de que el trabajo es salud?

  5. cheme wrote:

    Encima de pobres y jodidos también moriremos antes?
    Para algo se inventó la religión, como consuelo de los pobres; es que ya ni mejor vida en un futuro alfredo, no nos dejas nada.
    Bueno, con las pensiones que nos iban a tocar no íbamos a disfrutar mucho, para que engañarnos.

  6. Pantagruel wrote:

    Aplicando la ecuación cuanto más alto estás menos trabajas queda legitimada mi tendencia a la pereza. Lo que permite gozar de una larga vida es no trabajar nada, como todo jefe que se precie.

  7. Átropos wrote:

    Dad gracias, mortales. ¿Queréis vivir más y estar siempre jodidos?

  8. danniel wrote:

    El refrán está bien: el trabajo es salud.

    Tu trabajo es la salud de Tu jefe.

  9. pako wrote:

    El trabajo es salud y ennoblece a la gente de bien. A los parásitos como yo, más ruines que el ébola y la malaria juntos, currar jode más que una inyección de penicilina en el culo.
    El único motivo por el que me levanto del catre cuando suena un casio parecido al que se cuenta por ahí arriba es el dinero (el poco que cobro)que los cabrones de la escala de mando superior a mí (todo dios) se dignan a pagarme

  10. braen wrote:

    Este articulo me tranquiliza sobremanera: ya se el por que de la situacion laboral en la actualidad. Los jefes viven hasta la eternidad y al no jubilarse, el resto de los mortales somos relegados a una dimension de jodidos machacas. Maxime en este pais, donde todo esta jerarquizado, y el organigrama se extiende hasta el infinito. Quien no recuerd el chiste de las piraguas contra el equipo nipon!
    Buen dia.

  11. Scardanelli wrote:

    ARBEIT MACHT FREI, chavalines.

  12. Dioni wrote:

    Dicen que el trabajo ennoblece, pero pocos he visto yo jubilados y marqueses !!

  13. Garganta Profunda wrote:

    A Scardanelli se le ha olvidado citar que ese era el lema principal del campo de concentración de Auschwitz… (estaba presente en la misma puerta de entrada)

  14. Alfredo_MG wrote:

    Curiosamente, y cambiando «trabajo» por «verdad» y el alemán por el latín, nos encontramos con el lema de muchos colegios del Opus Dei. Conclusión: allí donde veas una palabra seguida de «… os hará libres» u «… os liberará» hay que poner pies en polvorosa.

  15. diogenes wrote:

    «la flora intestinal (la única flora, todo sea dicho, que jamás ha tenido un soneto)»

    A tus pies, maestro.

  16. pedrito wrote:

    Y, aquello que ponía en ruso a la entrada de los campos del Gulag stalinista,¿cómo era? ¿A la libertad por el trabajo?.Me parece que sí; y, salvando lo que haya que salvar, es lo mismo que lo de Hitler.O sea,los mismos perros.
    Una maldición bíblica, no se les olvide a ustedes: ganarás el pan con el sudor de tu frente, cuando el Dios Padre terrible del Antiguo Testamento expulsó del Paraíso a Adán y Eva. Sin embargo,la versión apócrifa dice «con el sudor del de enfrente», como todos sabemos y tenemos bien aprendido.

  17. pedrito wrote:

    Pero » la verdad os hará libres» cumple los requisitos que -advierte Alfredo más arriba- nos harían salir pitando de donde lo ponga… Y sin embargo, como frase es mucho más creíble.

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