Bono o el Capitán Ejpaña

Es una pena que el Ministro de Defensa, José Bono, haya rechazado la Gran Cruz al mérito militar, condecoración que sin duda merecía. Bono, henchido de patriotismo tras su acto de nombramiento como ministro (en el que sólo faltaron elefantes y trompetistas vestidos de romano) se había colocado un peldaño por encima de cualquier español, incluso de cualquier español español, al erigirse en ejpañol de Ejpaña. Ese carácter era motivo suficiente para superar al minúsculo gabacho llamado Napoleón, que se coronó a sí mismo emperador ninguneando al Papa en sus narices. Como cualquier español de bien sabe, ningún francés va a superarnos así como así, por lo que Bono dejó aquella hazaña en simple chascarrillo al convertirse en el primer prohombre que recibe una medalla a priori, con dos jjotas, como diciendo: “si El Cid ganó una batalla después de muerto, yo la gano antes de librarla”. Para colmo del talento creativo, justifica el asunto como un merecido reconocimiento debido a la retirada de las tropas de Irak, acción que se transforma en una victoria cabeza abajo en el mismísimo año de Dalí (homenaje al pintor surrealista) a la par que conecta con el refranero, donde una retirada a tiempo ya se sabe (homenaje a la cultura popular del país). Pedimos desde aquí al señor Bono que reconsidere su decisión y lleve siempre con orgullo esa Cruz en la solapa, si tiene un tamaño adecuado, ya que no se puede hacer más por la patria y el honor con un gesto tan sencillo.

bono-daimiel(01).jpg
Bono en Cascajales del Páramo, a punto de sufrir el colapso patriótico que lo transformó en Capitán Ejpaña tras saludar al último superviviente de la Guerra de Cuba, que se mantiene en un envidiable estado de forma a pesar de sus 142 años

andreu.jpg
Uno de los polémicos asesores de Bono. Los rumores apuntan a que es cuñado de un primo del tío carnal de Carod Rovira

Comments

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    No entiendo el chiste. ¿Qué pinta el Màgic Andreu aquí?

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    No entiendo el chiste. ¿Qué pinta el Màgic Andreu aquí?

  3. Throin wrote:

    El Magic Andreu se ponia una medalla cada vez que acababa un truco.

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  5. Incognito wrote:

    O eso o estamos ante un plagio puro y duro.

  6. Caracartón wrote:

    ¿Quién fue el memo que propuso la medalla?. Desde luego quien la aprobó fue el consejo de ministros.
    ¡Gobierno dimisión!. Y a tomar por culo los 100 días de cortesía. Señor Señor, que cruz… que gran cruz del mérito militallll.

  7. intelestual wrote:

    Bono estuvo rebuscando una estratagema jurídica para autoconcederse la medalla, y puesto que la medalla no podía ser propuesta por el ministro de defensa a sí mismo (los anteriores ministros la recibieron después de dejar el cargo) le pidió a ZP que la propusiera él como presidente del gobierno. No ha engañado a nadie y ha hecho el ridiculo más espantoso.

    Por cierto, eso de que no se la merece habría que discutirlo, porque yo le he visto en la tele con un cajjco militar puesto, y encajar un cajjco en semejante cabeza sí que es un mérito extraordinario.

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    Cagon la leche, intelejtual, por una vez haj ejtao gracioso.

  9. Ava wrote:

    Jo creo que Jojé Bono, Minijtro de defenja, aun je cree que ejtá en Cajtilla la Mancha ganado votoj a baje de regalaj relojes a la gente que je encuentra por laj callej. Yo no je ji Bambi ej muy inteligente o muy lerdo vijto loj circoj que ejtan montando algunos de sus minijtros, el tiempo lo dirá, pero dejde luego ji quiere dejhacerse de Bono, hace bien en dejarlo a ju aire y que haga juj locuras para que caiga de forma natural y je queme el jolito. ¿El futuro de Bono cuando deje de jer minijtro? Quizá actuar de Capitán Ejjjjpaña en Cronicaj Marcianas, un dinerito je jacará para ajegurar la jubilación, ejo jeguro.

  10. Scardanelli wrote:

    Medid las palabras antes de hablar, porque Bono tiene un hijito que lo pasa muy mal cada vez que critican a su papaíto y cuando éste vuelve a casa por la noche, después de jugar a los soldaditos (el padre, no el crío), se lo encuentra todo descompuesto y con aspecto de haber llorado. No lo digo yo, lo dice todo un Ministro de Defensa (o como ahora se le llame a la cosa esa de la guerra) español ante las grabadoras de los periodistas. No se puede criticar así como así a los ministros con niños pequeños porque éstos se apenan y el papá prefiere devolver la medalla para que el nene deje de sufrir y la parienta no le recrimine que desde que luce galardones en la solapa sus vástagos sacan peores notas en sociales. Inédita e increible manera de defenderse de las críticas justificadas y justas.

    Bono está condenado a hacer de Bono, o a hacer el Bono, porque él sabe que eso es lo que se espera de él y no piensa defraudarnos. Quiere ir más allá de donde ha ido nunca un ministro patético. Y puede hacerlo, porque además se le ve que va por muy buen camino…

    Humildemente,
    Scardanelli.

  11. Reincidente wrote:

    Os veo como muy enterados, la verdad. Supongo que:

    a) lleváis un cable a lo Hell Raiser o a lo Makoki directo al cerebro de Bono, con lo cual se explicaría todo particialmente (si hay «feed-back» y eso, ya sabéis).

    b) estábais en el consejo de Ministros.

    c) os aburrís como hongos.

    d) la gente de Castilla LM son todos idiotas, ¡¡¡han votado a Bono durante años!!! parecéis concluir.

    e) de lo que se deduce que todos los que habéis votado al PP durante años ¡también sois idiotas!

    f) ergo la democracia es una mierda, ¿no?

    Hala a kgal todos y haber si utilizáis el cerebro para algo más que cotillear, panda matamoros.

  12. intelestual wrote:

    No te enfades reincidente porque tu papá haya devuelto la medalla, si ha sido por verte feliz, además, en el rastro puedes comprarle muchas para el día del padre

  13. Caracartón wrote:

    Además de la antigua URSS que esas si molan cantidad. Por cierto, cuando lo veo en algún puesto de la plaza mayor pienso en la cantidad de quincalla que produjo el ejército sovietico.

  14. Reincidente wrote:

    Quiero pedir disculpas por mi post anterior, por su mal gusto y demás , pero es que es para lo que me han educado, y eso ya no tiene remedio.

    En realidad todo es producto de mi pobre imaginación, puesto que yo quería poner un post gracioso y en cuanto han escrito 4 gatos ya no tengo nada que decir.
    Alfredo, porfa, dime cuándo vas a hablar de Britni Espíers, que ese tema me lo sé al dedillo, y así puedo decir algo que me saque de mi triste y anónima existencia.

  15. Avelino wrote:

    Preguntilla off topic sin importancia. En la portada de LPD me sale la publicidad electoral de la Coalición liberal. ¿Es publicidad voluntaria y gratuita de LPD por simpatía o publicidad contratada? ¿Ha sido idea de Pablo?

    Por lo menos por lo que he leído se parecen más a lo que un servidor entiende por liberal, no como los fans de FJL que se hacen llamar liberales.

    Por cierto Ava, me alegro de leerte de nuevo que te había perdido el rastro.

  16. Alfreo M-G wrote:

    No lo sé, Avelino. Por lo que he leído del candidato no sólo es paisano mío, sino que debió ser casi vecino debido a la zona donde se encuentra el colegio en el que estudió. Si es que el mundo es un pañuelo…

  17. l.g. wrote:

    el señor Bo(ro)no: Creo que en su día ya se comentó por alguno del los blogs de esta página que sería un digno sucesor de Trillo…

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    La verdad es que si que tiene un aire a Trillo en sus formas. No me cuesta nada imginarlos borrachos a los dos, caminando agarrados por el hombro y cantando alguna canción popular

  19. Avelino wrote:

    Así que tú también de Córdoba, Alfredo…curioso que del feudo de IU salga el candidato liberal.

  20. Ava wrote:

    Gracias por seguirme el rastro Avelino. 🙂

    Ya sé que ultimamente me prodigo poco por aquí, pero se debe al ataque hormonal primaveral (y si suela, cuela), la falta de tiempo y cierto cansancio ante ciertas actitudes caníbales que se producen, y sea dicho de esta forma por no entrar en demasiadas polémicas, en algunos de estos foros.

    Pero todos estos motivos son temporales, así que como dicen que dijo Espartaco, «volveré y seré millones».

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    Los de Jimenez los Santos se hacen llamara liberales ( en todo caso son neoliberales ) pero en el fondo son peperos

  22. cheme wrote:

    Creo que Bono simplemente ha querido imitar a uno de sus maestros cuando la Xunta le dió la medalla de Galicia a Cascos por su gestión en la catastrofe del Prestige, este año se la han dado a Rodolfito Martín Villa.
    Pero como Fraga, ninguno.

  23. intelestual wrote:

    Por cierto, parece ser que no hay forma legal de «devolver» la medalla y en el gobierno están dando vueltas para ver cómo lo consiguen. Al final Bono se va a quedar su medallita y va a hacer triple ridículo.

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