La fórmula de la felicidad

Tantas y tantas horas de reflexión en el retrete en la postura del pensador de Rodin, tantas tertulias en la taberna entre medio y medio de Montilla-Moriles, tanto musarañear en horas de trabajo, tantas noches insomne después de un calambre en el gemelo (¿alguien sabe por qué dan horrendos calambres en el gemelo en pleno sueño?), tantos paseos por la ciudad como llevado por un halo espiritual… y todo para encontrar la solución a los problemas del planeta (sí, amigos, me debo a la humanidad). Soy modesto, quizá el más modesto del mundo, y reconozco que nada de eso ha servido. Nunca obtuve resultados sorprendentes ni formulé teoría revolucionaria alguna (salvo, quizá, la serie de ecuaciones que explican por qué el primer chorro que sale de un tetra-brick con abrefácil quintuplica siempre la cantidad que se esperaba, o lo que es lo mismo, la célebre teoría del torrente indómito). En fin… y pensar que tenía delante de mis narices la fórmula de la felicidad en la Tierra.

Comments

  1. Guillermo López wrote:

    Está bien, pero me parece una solución demasiado largoplacista: ¿no se contempla el suicidio como una alternativa más eficaz? Los dirigentes del movimiento podrían dar ejemplo inmolándose, lo cual, como mínimo, tendría un impacto mediático considerable.

    Un cordial saludo

  2. petrus wrote:

    Esta nueva religión proviene del planeta raticulín, mejor sería preguntarle a manuel jesús, o no, mejor a jj benítez.

    Aunque si se toma algo en serio la propuesta, tampoco me extraña, visto que en los países ricos, hay grupos ecologistas fundamentalistas que propugnan el crecimiento cero económico, lo que llevado a la sociedad, es lo mismo que dicen éstos, no más nacimientos, lo primero es la tierra. Lo cual no es mala idea, pero sin abusar.

  3. JR wrote:

    ¿O por qué no una castración masiva para luego ofrendar nuestros testítulos recién amputados al dios de turno que mejor nos convenga?

    Magnífico espectáculo e inmejorable pasto para las llamas.

  4. Garganta Profunda wrote:

    Por fin surge un movimiento que colma mis deseos mas intimos! El ser humano es, desde las langostas biblicas que azotaron el Egipto de Ramses, la peor plaga que ha existido en la Tierra!

    Vayamonos todos a tomar por el culo y como rezaba aquella cancioncilla de «Siniestro Total», «dejemos que continue la evolucion»!!!

  5. Muad´Dib wrote:

    Estupefacto me hallo, algunas perlas:

    Se ha sugerido que la probabilidad de que todo el mundo cese voluntariamente de reproducir es escasa o inexistente.

    Y mas si ellas se siguen vistiendo como.. Piiiiii, CENSORED

    De cualquier manera, si cualquiera de nosotros piensa detenidamente y por suficiente tiempo sobre la situación, y hace un esfuerzo por evadir las trabas sociales de su mente para pensar objetivamente, virtualmente llegaremos a la misma conclusión: deberíamos voluntariamente desaparecer por el bien del planeta y la humanidad.

    ¿Al desaparecer le hacemos un bien a la humanidad?Entonces si nos cargamos el planeta, ¿le hacemos un favor al planeta?¿Me he perdido algo?

  6. Chemi wrote:

    Durante el día es muy fácil que acumulemos muchas tensiones, tensiones que de alguna forma se han de eliminar: riéndonos, cantando, practicando algún deporte, masturbándonos, practicando sexo, pegándole hostias a alguien… En verdad, las personas se pueden clasificar según el modo que elijan para liberar las tensiones: alegres, muy alegres, deportistas, solitarios, satisfechos, hijos de puta (que se corresponden sucesivamente con las formas de liberar tensiones que he citado más arriba). Pero, bueno, a lo que íbamos. Que si has acumulado mucha tensión y no la has liberado, el cuerpo trata de liberarla durante el sueño, lo que puede dar lugar a pesadillas, a posturas forzadas, a rigidez y tensión muscular… ¡Y por eso es por lo que en ocasiones dan calambres (en los gemelos o donde sea) por las noches!.
    Y, bueno, cambiando de tema, ¿por qué tanto trabajo por algo que de todas formas va a ocurrir antes o después (seguramente antes de lo que todos creemos)?. Pues eso.

  7. Garganta Profunda wrote:

    En efecto, Chemi, el fin de la especie humana esta mas que cerca…vean si no la pagina siguiente:

    http://www.crisisenergetica.org

    …y deleitense con las catastrofistas predicciones que se relatan.

  8. Alfredo_MG wrote:

    A pesar de los planteamientos radicales del movimiento para la extinción voluntaria del ser humano, me llaman la atención tres cuestiones. La primera es el sentido del humor con el que exponen sus argumentos. La segunda, la ausencia de toda intención de imponerlos, incluso apenas hay agresividad en sus palabras cuando el mensaje es totalmente apocalíptico. Por último, y a pesar de unas cuantas teorías delirantes, llegan a conclusiones con bastante sentido común sobre la paternidad responsable. Plantear una serie de argumentos con humor y de manera agradable no es nada común. Estoy por convertirme.

  9. Totoro wrote:

    Lo de los calambres en el gemelo es porque te faltan minerales como el potasio: come plátanos (bananas, me refiero) y verás como se arregla.

    Saludos T.

  10. Strepto wrote:

    Ya había yo conocido esa página hace tiempo. También existe una llamada Euthanasia Churh que promueve mas o menos lo mismo. Lo lamento pero aprecio mucho mi vida como para inmolarme en nombre de unos lunáticos como éstos. Además, es sabido que no somos todos los que jodemos al mundo, sino unos pocos, peperos y Ansar por delante…

    Asco…

  11. unodelos60 wrote:

    Es interesante la página, alfredo_mg, gracias. En ella hay una lista de razones por las cuales alguien querría tener hijos. Personalmente he echado de menos una razón en esa lista: la vida en sí es maravillosa, y al traer un hijo al mundo le estás regalando eso que es lo que más aprecias: la vida. Le estás dando la oportunidad de vivir lo que tú has vivido. Es un acto ciertamente generoso, y realmente no ganas nada material con él. Está claro que el sueldo se reparte entre más, está claro que ganas en preocupaciones. Está claro que los hijos dan disgustos. Está claro que te cambian la vida, ya no puedes ir donde quieras.
    Me viene a la mente al pensar en esto la escena final de la película «Blade Runner», en la que el replicante perdona la vida al blade runner, mostrándole que conoce la esencia de la vida, y permitiéndole seguir con la suya. En fin…

    Por otra parte, eso de pensar que uno debe desaparecer para que los osos, los buitres o los ratones sean más felices, tiene cojones. Qué ingenuidad…

  12. Garganta Profunda wrote:

    Se admiten apuestas, yo digo que el autor de este ultimo post (escrito por «unodelos60») es en realidad un guionista del «Cuentame…» camuflado!

    Lean, lean http://www.crisisenergetica.org y alucinen con el futuro que nos espera de aqui a 30 añitos.

  13. omega wrote:

    bueno, garganta profunda, no seas catastrofista. la página de crisis energética está para informar, y no para alarmar. respecto a esos muchachos del movimiento, pues supongo que tiene que haber representantes de cualquier movimiento posible. es como la evolución, que lo va probando todo por medio del azar, hasta dar por casualidad con la fórmula o fórmulas. que vaya a ser así o no con la historia del pensamiento es otro tema. pero para empezar a hacer cualquier cosa, lo óptimo es copiar lo conocido -en este caso la biología.

    y bueno, que los peques hay que tenerlos para que solucionen los problemas de problemaS.

  14. lestat wrote:

    Bueno,
    al fin y al cabo lo que propugnan es lo que estamos haciendo desde hace tiempo, enmascarándolo en buenas intenciones, sacrificios, luchas santas… y de paso mandando al carajo al resto de especies, de esta forma sería todo más sensato; con algunos matices podríamos convertir la Tierra en una comuna hippie, hacer fiestas…..

    HOLOCAUSTO SOSTENIBLE YA!!!

  15. miquel wrote:

    hummm… Jo per això de les rampes pensava que anava bé menjar préssecs, no plàtans.

  16. unodelos60 wrote:

    Este muchacho de los 60 es padre de familia. Con tu tono, no me quedan muchas ganas de decirte lo que soy, pero no soy de letras, y por lo tanto, no soy guionista. El cuentame es una serie insoportable, y no la veo. Y tal vez, sólo tal vez, te asombrarías de la gran cantidad de predicciones gilipollescas que se han hecho desde siempre y, desde luego, no se han cumplido.

  17. Muerte al esperma wrote:

    Estoy harto de oir a padres de familia hablando de lo generoso que es tener hijos. Y una porra. Lo generoso es no tenerlos. La vida es una condena que no tiene salida, sea maravillosa o no. Imponer eso no es estupendo, es una putada. Creo, sinceramente, que los que tienen hijos son unos egoistas que solo piensan en verse realizados en ellos, en mantener sus aburridas vidas de pareja y en tener un cuidador gratuito para su vejez. Ea, ya me he desahogado.

  18. Carles wrote:

    Lo generoso es no tenerlos. La vida es una condena que no tiene salida,[…] los que tienen hijos son unos egoistas
    Pues sé coherente con tu discurso y hazle un favor al mundo: suicídate

  19. Orígenes wrote:

    Basta con no procrear. El suicidarse se lo dejamos a los obispos, a ver si toman nota de una vez y dejan de hablar de lo que ignoran.

  20. unodelos60 wrote:

    Sinceramente, no entiendo ese rencor (el de «muerte al esperma», por ejemplo). Tener hijos es evidentemente generoso, pero no es algo de lo que se presuma. Es así. No tiene mayor transcendencia ni consecuencias. Lo que no entiendo es por qué decir esa perogrullada despierta rencor, ni por qué hay necesidad de desahogo tras oir eso. La vida no es una putada, suponiendo que tengas suerte, salud e imaginación para ser capaz de reinventarla cada vez que te llevas un revés. Lo que es malo en la vida es la gente que explota a los demás, la gente bestial, la que hace lo que sea con tal de conseguir sus fines (a menudo ridículos), en fin, la gente que no respeta la vida (sobre todo la humana). Que es más o menos lo que hay oculto en los espantosos razonamientos de la página que trajo alfredo a esta charla…

    Bueno, les dejo caballeros, que tengo un comic de moore a medias (y no, no es la liga 😉 )

  21. Luis wrote:

    Estoy con unodelos60. Y me acuerdo de que no hace mucho tiempo, 20 añitos, no más, había iluminados advirtiendo de que para comienzos del siglo 21 no habría alimentos suficientes en la tierra para la humanidad. Pues ahora, en el 2004, efectivamente, se muere mucha gente de hambre, pero en «occidente» tiramos los alimentos y pagamos a los productores de alimentos para que no produzcan ¡MANDA HUEVOS!. Hay demasiado aprendiz de NOSTRADAMUS.

  22. Garganta Profunda wrote:

    Vamos a calmarnos señores!

    Para el caballero «unodelos60», decirle que en ningun momento buscaba la mofa personal con el comentario primigenio. Enterremos el hacha de guerra compañero, mas que nada porque no me creo capaz de cabrearme con otro admirador de Moore (¿tal vez estas leyendo V de Vendetta?)

    Un consejo, para ser guionista no hace falta ser de letras. Ni de ciencias. Lo unico que falta es plagiar y plagiar y colocarte de funcionario adscrito al Ministerio de Cultura dentro del entramado «industrial» de nuestro cine patrio.

  23. unodelos60 wrote:

    Lo de las predicciones es cierto. No son predicciones; en el mejor de los casos son extrapolaciones de situaciones pasadas. En cuanto cambia alguna variable, se desajustan. No os angustiéis demasiado con las visiones catastrofistas. Pensad que hasta en el Río Tinto, después de lo de Bolidén, acabaron apareciendo unas bacterias (la teoría decía que era imposible). Y además, teniendo el sol ahí arriba, es cuestión de inteligencia y tiempo (y hay ambas cosas de sobra) llegar a tener una energía económicamente viable no basada en el petróleo.

    Y por tocar otra vez lo de la secta esa auto-destructiva, después de convencernos que no tengamos ninios, nos convencerán de que nos autoinmolemos, y ya que estamos puestos, nos pedirán la cuenta del banco y las escrituras del piso antes de dar tan generoso paso con Gaia…

    Sobre el comic no es V, es el Dr. & Quinch, una de sus primeras cosas. En inglés. El mercado del comic en españa no es serio, y salvo ciertas cosas bien editadas, no es mala idea comprar los originales cuando se pueda. Por lo demás, ando leyendo 10 a la vez. Casi todos de los 80 o principios de los 90.

    Del cine patrio, paso. Y del cine en general, me parece un medio de expresión un poco agotado en este momento. Fui a ver la peli de la Liga (insistió mi señora), y salí aturdido. Ahora va a salir una de Hellboy si no me equivoco (sobre el personaje de Mignola), veremos.

  24. 1,11,21,1211,111221 wrote:

    Para «unodelossesenta»: Cierto, volvieron a aparecer unas bacterias donde antes había un ecosistema completo. ¿No sería mejor haber tenido cuidado y no haberlo estropeado?. Confiar en que tarde o temprano vendrá alguien a arreglar nuestros estropicios me parece la mejor receta para el desastre. Por otra parte encuentro lamentable esta confianza ciega en un Deus ex Machina.
    En cuanto al VHEMT en ningún momento me ha parecido que tengan la intención de imponer sus ideas por la fuerza.

  25. Muerte al esperma wrote:

    Esta claro que alguno no se entera de nada. Carles, sabes leer? Sospecho que no muy bien. O eso, o lo que infieres de la lectura de los textos te ponen a un nivel demasiado primario para tener una discusion seria. Respecto a unodelos60, hablar de secta auto-destructiva es ir un poco a saco. Unos tios que creen que es mejor no tener hijos y lo dicen no son una secta, a menos que creas que una secta es un grupo de gente que dice cosas con las que no estas de acuerdo. Tal vez seria interesante que todo el que opina leyera antes la pagina de marras. Asi verian que no hay que apuntarse a nada, ni piden dinero ni te meten en un chalet con crematorio (ver punto cuarto en «Acerca del Movimiento») Saludos cordiales.

  26. Avelino wrote:

    1,11,21,1211,111221,312211

    Confieso que no lo saqué. Bueno, sí, saqué otra solución:

    En realidad es una solución múltiple: cualquier serie de números que sume 13, por ejemplo 112522, o 111111111121.

  27. 1,11,21,1211,111221 wrote:

    no, el 312211 es correcto. No entiendo lo del 13.

  28. unounemeuneunagunaa wrote:

    1, 11, 21, 1211, 111221, 312211, 13112221, 1113213211, 31131211131221, 13211311123113112211…

  29. unounemeuneunagunaa wrote:

    y cuál es el siguiente número en esta secuencia?

    1,4,2,2,9,6,2,4,…

  30. a otra cosa wrote:

    http://mathworld.wolfram.com/LookandSaySequence.html

  31. unounemeuneunagunaa wrote:

    bueno, eso es trampa. lo tienes que pensar tú.

    aquí hay otro link más general.
    http://www.research.att.com/~njas/sequences/

  32. Avelino wrote:

    Lo del trece es lo siguiente, si los pones en orden:
    1
    11
    21
    1211
    111221

    y sumas las cifras que componen cada uno, se obtiene:
    1
    2
    3
    5
    8
    que es una serie en que cada número (salvo los dos primeros) es la suma de los dos inmediatamente anteriores:
    1+2=3
    2+3=5
    5+3=8
    luego pensé que el siguiente de la serie sería
    5+8=13

    uséase, que el siguiente término de la serie original sería cualquiera cuyos dígitos sumasen trece ¿mexplico?

    En cuanto a la otra serie que propones, no estoy con fuerzas para pensarlo esta noche. Quizá mañana si tengo tiempo 🙂

  33. a otra cosa wrote:

    9 y 1 si acepatamos ?

  34. a otra cosa wrote:

    «aceptamos» quería decir.

  35. unaounaemeunaeunagunaa wrote:

    pues el caso es que la respuesta es sólo una. así que 12, que sería válido según tú, no vale. es muy divertido. mira la serie bien y piensa si tiene algún sentido.

  36. Avelino wrote:

    ¿A qué serie te refieres? La del 312211 ya sé la solución; me la dijeron, no la saqué yo (bueno, yo saqué la que he contado y otra aún más estrafalaria y rebuscada).

    Si te refieres a la de 1,4,2,2,9,6,2,4 te confieso que es demasiado tarde como para ponerme a pensar. Mañana tal vez.

  37. a otra cosa wrote:

    pues déjalo en 9. Entiendo que vas contando el número de letras que tienen las palabras de tu mensaje. De ahí el 1 asociado al interrogante que ahora sí debería ser un 12.

  38. unaounaemeunaeunagunaa wrote:

    a otra cosa: sí, es un nueve! perdona que antes no te entendí, pensé que hablabas con avelino. es un nueve porque es el número de letras de «secuencia». no entendí lo del «9 y 1 y si aceptamos?» qué rápido.

    avelino: me refiero todo el rato al de 1, 11, etc. piensa que es muy simple y cuando te digamos la solución te vas a dar con la cabeza contra la pared.

  39. unaounaemeunaeunagunaa wrote:

    ja,ja,ja! no, a otra cosa! lo del 12 no iba por tí. iba por avelino, que decía que la respuesta a la secuencia 1, 11 era un número cuyos dígitos sumados dieran 13. tú pensaste que yo decía que «?» valía 12, y qué gran coincidencia!!! «interrogante» tiene 12 letras! ahora lo entiendo todo. la cantidad de malentendidos que hay en el mundo es inconmesurable!!! es increíble. y supongo que a veces todo tiene tanto sentido que en vez de ser un malentendido es un entendido alternativo. qué lío de existencia. en fin. alfredo se va a cagar en nosotros mañana cuando vea en qué convertimos su calambre.

  40. a otra cosa wrote:

    ¿y lo bien que nos lo hemos pasado? Eso no tiene precio.

  41. Muad´Dib wrote:

    Avelino, mándame un mail (q sé q tu te molestas) please explicádome de q va esto q me mola.

    Gracias por adelantado.

  42. Muad´Dib wrote:

    Avelino, mándame un mail (q sé q tu te molestas) please explicádome de q va esto q me mola.

    Gracias por adelantado.

  43. Avelino wrote:

    ¿Ein? ¿Qué quieres que texplique sastamente, Muab’Dib?

  44. 1,11,21,1211,111221 aka "a otra cosa" wrote:

    En respuesta a Muad’dib debo decirte que «esto» que te mola no es más que completar series numéricas. En una respuesta mia algo más arriba se me ocurrió firmar como 1,11,21,etc y primero Avelino y luego Omega decidieron ponerse a pensar en la forma de continuar la sucesión. Debo decir que la solución alternativa de Avelino es interesante ya que redescubre la sucesión de Fibonacci, vieja conocida de los matemáticos. Luego ha tenido lugar el cruce de mensajes entre Avelino, Omega y yo que ha servido para armarnos un lio y en mi caso además para pasar un rato bastante agradable.
    No se si este intento de aclaración te aclara alguna cosa pero en todo caso te remito a
    http://www.research.att.com/~njas/sequences/
    que es una página dedicada al estudio e identificación de sucesiones numéricas diversas.
    Espero haberte ayudado.

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