El hedor amarillo

Hay que tener cuidado con pronunciar la palabra España, que ni has llegado a la eñe y ya tienes a un hotentote de la tribu periférica colgado de la oreja y repitiendo estepaís estepaís estepaís como si fuera parte de la respuesta de su particular salmo responsorial. A este paso, y al estilo Prince, España pronto será nombrada como Aquel País Anteriormente Conocido Como Tierra de Conejos, aunque no sé si conejo será políticamente incorrecto y habrá que estirar el eufemismo hasta mamífero lagomorfo, que de momento lagomorfo se puede decir sin que ninguna plataforma ciudadana proteste por tu desconsideración.

España era un patio de vecinos, verduleras su gentilicio, la envidia el pecado capital o la capital del pecado. Todos los edificios tenían a una del tercero y a otro del segundo que entreabrían sus puertas para enterarse de lo acontecido en el exterior, que no era sino el interior de un artefacto donde los mecanismos eran rumores, sobre todo acerca del embarazo de la niña de la Paqui, que, fíjate, ni había cumplido los 16, aunque otras veces la Paqui era Paco el que se largó con una veinte años más joven sin decir nada. Por el portal entraba y salía el planeta.

La cosa ha cambiado bastante desde que somos americanos que creemos ser europeos actuando como aldeanos que aspiran al universalismo. La Paqui-Paco se reproduce en los programas televisivos, al igual que la niña y su retoño, convertidos todos ellos en meretrices surtidas, chulos al por mayor y monstruos de feria ensalzados por las cámaras, los micros y la pluma por partida doble de los escribidores del corazón y los tertulianos rosas con guionista en la chepa. Hasta aquí todo bien: el portal se transformó en pantalla mientras España se lagomorfizaba.

Pero mientras el portal era particular como el patio de mi casa (que es la suya siempre que no venga), la pantalla mastica y espurrea como la boca de un gigante a cada portera y vecindongo. Así que cada día nos enteramos de que miles de hijas de miles de Paquis parirán mañana gemelos de la madre que los echó, o mejor dicho echará, que además son siempre del mismo torero, que no da abasto para fecundar al continente.

Cada minuto de televisión (la vida de este medio se mide en ‘a tanto el minuto’) escupe un insulto amarillo, una calumnia amarilla. El alud amarillo arrasa con los que viven del cuento, con los que se vendieron alguna vez, con los parientes de cualquiera de ellos, con la chica que hace 10 años salió con el hermano de la cuñada cuando ni siquiera era la cuñada, con el que pasaba por allí.

Ya un simple ‘idiota’ deja indefenso al que lo recibe. El insulto apunta a los sentimientos y suele actuar al margen de la razón. Provoca para evitar los argumentos. Las acusaciones falsas siempre buscan la destrucción en mayor o menor grado. La televisión actúa ahora como expendedora de esos insultos, de esas calumnias. La enciendes y, como si abrieras un armario repleto de cachivaches, se te vienen encima uno detrás de otro los golpes a la legislación, las patadas a la entrepierna de la dignidad de las personas (por bajunas que sean muchas de ellas), los delitos tipificados con nombre y apellidos en el código penal. El chisme ha crecido y ha dado lugar a una bestia. La graciosa criaturilla era un cocodrilo al que no se puede tirar a la alcantarilla. La cloaca ya ha venido a él y mueve miles de millones. El hedor amarillo resulta insoportable. Llame al servicio de limpieza y contestarán que ir a desinfectar para nada es tontería, con lo que a uno se le queda cara de lagomorfo en estepaís estepaís estepaís.

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